Jack is jacked up
I have to say it: I think I hate Jack. You know the guy: large styrofoam-ball head, big blue eyes and a yellow dunce cap, mascot for Jack in the Box restaurants. While I do appreciate the free curly fries upgrade, I have no love for his self-checkouts.
My first experience with self-checkouts was at an Albertsons about a year ago. Instead of having a cashier ring up the milk and eggs and a bagger bag ‘em, you do it all. And there’s no discount on the groceries. I don’t get it. Every time I scanned an item, the screen was telling me to “remove item from bagging area.” I didn’t even see a bagging area! (Isn’t that where the bagger would be)? So I had to get the cashier who oversees four self-checkouts to punch in her magic code and solve my bagging-area dilemma.
In the car, flustered and disgruntled, I realized that Albertsons had no intention of easing my shopping experience with this newfangled system – they were downsizing! Instead of four cashiers, there were four self-checkouts, manned (or womaned, actually) by one employee. And that brings me back to Jack. I pulled into a Jack in the Box on Aero Drive the other day and found my old nemesis. Yep, Jack’s got a self-checkout. And no, my order wasn’t right when it appeared on the counter, so the first human interaction of my visit was to send back my cheeseburger for the cheese. Pu-leeez Jack…don’t do this to us!
You know what else I hate? When you pull up to the drive-thru and there’s a recorded voice greeting you. What, it’s so freaking time-consuming to say, “Hi, welcome to Burger Barn, can I take your order?” The wage slave comes right on the mic to take your order, so what is the point of the recorded greeting? It’s very disorienting to hear a man’s deep voice greeting you, and a squeeky kid asking if you want fries with that.
I actually got so pissed at JITB I called their corporate headquarters to complain about it. “Um hello, Mr. Box?”
Jack is a genius live-action bobblehead. What, would you rather have the Taco Bell commercials? Plus, he invented the “Ultimate Cheeseburger,” which supplies needy humans with at least 1,500 grams of fat per serving! Down with your Jack hating, SMALL HEAD!
You can’t blame Jack for trying to save on labor costs by providing self check outs. How else could he afford to offer curly fries for the same price as regular fries???????