Last Blog On Earth

I have little doubt that Candice Woo will do a full-on report in this week’s issue, but I thought I’d share a small taste of the many tastes I experienced Friday night. You see, every year the San Diego County Fair holds a media night, wherein they invite members of the local media to hang around the fairgrounds, eating and drinking whatever they want, entirely on their tab. We at CityBeat have no qualms about fried food, free beer, and mocking the craggy, botoxed local news personalities who show up to get hammered on draft Tecate. And by “we” I mean “me,” and whomever I can get to drive (in this case, Kelly Davis’ husband. Thanks, dude).

But take a look at that photo, if you will, and then let me describe what’s in it. The beer, well, you got that. The lumpy brown things? Fried avocados and tomatoes. Now, here’s where it gets weird. You see the fried Twinkies, of course, one with chocolate sauce and the other strawberry. That Pepsi cup? That’s not Pepsi, friend. That’s fried Coca-cola, which has the consistency of fried brains (well, I’m assuming), and is covered with whipped cream (not fried) and a cherry (sadly, also not fried). That little sandwich looking thing, though, is the newest item on the deep fried menu (it should be said that the Twinkies ran out immediately, but the Oreos are always popular). That is a fried chicken patty, topped with cheese, in between two slices of Krispy Kreme original glazed. The group review was mixed. If you think it sounds nasty, you’re in the CityBeat majority. I blame the chicken, or at the very least, the dude who decided that chicken would do. A serious chicken cutlet might have made all the difference–but this is the fair, yo. The good chickens and turkeys are actually wandering around with their 4H human companions, still in their pre-fryer conditions.