SDSU debunks the Five Second Rule; Seth Combs doesn’t care.

Samantha Bee. Photo from the Daily Show website.

Food does not go to waste at CityBeat. When I’ve got eggplant parmigiana leftovers, the rest of the editorial team gobbles it up. When our neighbor, artist Jocelyn Duke, has a spare half of a chocolate croissant, we claw at each other for the gobbling rights.

And when food falls on the ground, we hold no qualms about putting it in our mouths, provided it hasn’t been there long and one of the many office dogs haven’t scavenged it first.

A new study from San Diego State University shows that our floor-eating practices are in line with 65 percent of American parents. But, using a carrot and a sippy cup, the researchers also proved that the so-called “Five Second Rule” (that you can eat something on the floor as long as it’s only been there for a few few heartbeats) is totally false—a piece of food will still pick up germs.

Take that finding with a grain of bleach; the study was funded by Clorox. Also, it doesn’t help its credibility that Clorox recruited Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee to serve as spokesperson—she’s not exactly known for reporting facts.

“Apparently it doesn’t matter if germs carry a stopwatch or not. If they are around, they will hitch a ride on almost anything,” Bee says in a press release. “While I will never be able to enjoy another one of my kid’s cookies off the subway platform again, at home, my new strategy is to get rid of the little buggers—the germs, not my kids.”

For the oppositional view, I crossed the room to interview Seth Combs, CityBeat arts and culture editor, about how long something can be on the ground and still be edible.

“It depends on how dirty the ground is,” Combs said. “If I dropped it in the bathroom I wouldn’t eat it. If I dropped it here? Maybe like five seconds.”

Combs proceeded to debunk the debunkers and demonstrated the five-second rule with a candy-coated pretzel:

The pretzel on the floor in the middle of the office. It should be noted that a coworker’s puppy shat on this carpet (not the exact same spot, but close) about two weeks earlier.

Combs eating the floor pretzel. Ten minutes later he was still healthy; his mane retained its natural sheen and he continues to exhibit all the signs of arts-editor rancor. I will update if he dies by the end of the workday.

One item in the SDSU study actually backs up Combs’ theory: Carrots picked up more germs when they were dropped on a counter than on the floor.